“What’s My Purpose, and What is the Value of Knowing It?”
The Power of Defining a Statement of Life Purpose
Professional and personal coaching is rife with all kinds of questions, reflections and self-inquiries, but none is deeper or more resonant than that fundamental question, “What is my purpose?” This question is often buried in the coach/coachee dialog; other times it is just below the surface or is the explicit topic of coaching. My clients come to me with a wide range of issues to address, but underneath all of these topics are some fundamental desires – a desire to live a more intentional life, to make choices that mean something , to add value to their lives and the lives of people around them, and to live their lives in a more complete and fulfilling way.
One way to bring focus to these desires is to invest time developing and articulating an explicit statement of life purpose. Although it is an inadequate comparison, I lean on my years as a corporate consultant and relate this personal definition to the creation of a corporate “vision, mission and values” statement that is often at the center of corporate strategy development. Like the corporate version, a personal statement of purpose is best when it is specific, unique and concise; otherwise, it can be too generic to serve as a personal guide. Continuing the theme of my post on zooming in and zooming out (Little Agenda and Big Agenda) a few weeks ago (Zooming In to Zoom Out), a life purpose statement should
zoom out far enough to encompass a person’s full range of experiences, skills and desires (a view from the mountaintop, if you will) but not SO far out that objects become fuzzy and indistinct. Thus, the creation of a life purpose statement can take some time, creativity, self-reflection, and most of all, courage.
Often, I work with a client to identify the core values that inform how they interpret the world around them, exploring the circumstances when they feel most fully themselves and fulfilled; then we begin to flesh out their most desired future state of being. I might ask them to self-reflect, journal, read or interview others close to them to gain a broader perspective on their unique skills, desires and impact on others. We also might do some guided visualizations. I often make a request of the client to create a first draft of a life purpose statement, emphasizing that the content has an intended audience of exactly one – the client themselves – and therefore any concern about how others might interpret the statement should be mitigated or suppressed. I talk about a draft because I do not want my client to get caught up in making the “perfect” life purpose statement; rather they can begin to shape and form an articulation of purpose that might morph as they think more about it. Clients with strong Judge or Stickler saboteurs often find those voices very active during this exercise, and we often spend time talking about how to weaken those saboteurs and strengthen the influence of the client’s inner leader or Sage.
For clients struggling to get started, I offer a simple sentence structure to get them started: “I am the (insert noun) that (insert verb that reflects a desired impact or action) in order to (insert a noun that is the beneficiary of the desired action)”. It doesn’t always work perfectly, depending on the nature of the life purpose statement, but it can be a good jumpstart. I had one fellow coaching colleague tell me that his life purpose statement was “I am the campfire around which others gather and find community”. Evocative, don’t you think?! These can and should be specific and creative; as long as they make sense to the individual, and help guide them as they navigate their lives, they serve their purpose. A common thread through all of this is that the life purpose statement increases one’s intentionality, makes use of unique talents and experiences, and aligns with the individual’s core values.
The resulting declarations can be surprising, especially if a client has been largely governed by the expectations of others. The self-discovery that comes with wrestling with questions like “What am I hungry to do with my life?”, “What is the teaching I am called to do?”, or “What is my unique contribution to my family, community, workplace, etc.?” can take people to new and interesting places. By creating and owning the definition of one’s purpose, clients have an empowering sense of direction in their lives and can be more selective about when and how they allow others to advise them (or tell them) what they “should be” doing.
Early in my coaching certification training, I invested the time to create my own life purpose statement, and now I find myself frequently going back to it to pressure-test new opportunities and issues that come up in my life. The purpose definition sits on a sticky note on my computer monitor so I can see it every day. The intentionality is very empowering and I can now more clearly connect the dots between my various activities, passions, values and choices around time allocation. Having a wayfinder to live a life of meaning and purpose is incredibly helpful, and that motivates me to help my clients define (and live by) theirs.
Inquiry for my readers: if you were to attempt a statement of life purpose, what might it look like? If you had one that felt personal and powerful, how would it change the way you live? What would you be saying “yes” to? What would you be saying “no” to?