Wasting Time versus Giving Time

A Coaching Perspective on When to Wait and When to Act

Time is a tricky partner in leadership and life. We are told it’s our most valuable resource, that we must seize it, track it, and never let it go to waste. We fetishize it via apps, calendars, smartphones, and various other trackers. At the same time, we’re also told to be patient, to let things unfold, to sleep on it, to trust the process. So which is it?

In my coaching conversations, this tension shows up again and again—especially for high-achieving professionals facing complex, ambiguous situations. When is it wise to hold back, observe, and allow things to settle? And when does waiting become avoidance—an elegant form of procrastination dressed up as thoughtfulness?

Last week, I worked with a client who was frustrated with a colleague who had repeatedly engaged in what my client perceived to be less-than-professional email and Slack correspondence. Should she directly engage with this colleague and address it (which might lead to an escalation), or ignore the perceived provocation for the time being? You can undoubtedly fill in your own example - it’s a commonplace workplace subject.

Let’s explore this tension through a lens I often use with clients: the difference between wasting time and giving time.

What It Means to Give Time

There are instances when the most strategic thing you can do is not act immediately.

Giving time might mean letting emotions cool in a conflict before sending a follow-up email. It might mean holding space for a team member to find their own answer, rather than jumping in with a solution. It might mean resisting the urge to “fix” something too quickly, especially if the context is still unfolding. For years, I built in a 60-second time delay in my email outbox to give me an option to unsend an email lest I regret a hasty response. It served me well.

There’s wisdom in giving time when:

• The system is in flux. You sense that things are moving beneath the surface—a reorganization, a shift in team dynamics, or external pressures. Acting too soon might mean solving the wrong problem or addressing the symptom instead of the cause.

• You need more data. Whether it’s quantitative feedback or a gut feeling that hasn’t been clarified yet, pausing gives you perspective.

• The other person isn’t ready. Timing matters in influence. Even the right message, poorly timed, can land flat or create resistance.

Giving time is not the same as being passive. It’s active patience. It requires discernment, presence, and emotional regulation. That is why it is often so hard to do. You’re not disengaged—you’re choosing not yet as a strategic posture.

When Waiting Becomes Wasting Time

But there’s a flip side.

There’s the kind of waiting that feels stagnant. Where the same conversation is replayed in your head or in meetings, with no forward motion. Where fear, not wisdom, is driving the delay. Where you tell yourself you’re being “measured” in your response, but deep down, you’re just stalling. Where your internal saboteurs are actively getting in your way - the Avoider, the Controller, the Stickler, and the Hyper-Vigilant can all be active in these internal dialogs.

This kind of time management doesn’t serve anyone—it’s rooted in indecision, perfectionism, or conflict avoidance. And often, it comes at a hidden cost: momentum is lost, trust erodes, opportunities slip by.

Here are signs you may be wasting time rather than giving it:

• You’ve had the same conversation about the same issue more than three times with no change.

• You’re waiting for “perfect clarity” before taking the next step that could easily be adjusted later.

• You’ve delayed giving feedback or making a decision because it’s emotionally uncomfortable.

• You feel drained rather than grounded when thinking about the issue.

A Few Questions to Check Your Timing

If you’re in the midst of this dilemma—unsure whether to wait or act—here are a few coaching questions to help you reflect:

• What am I afraid might happen if I act now?

• What might I miss if I wait?

• What’s the cost of inaction—for me, for others, for the outcome?

• Is the situation evolving, or am I simply circling it?

• What would “giving time with intention” look like here?

These questions aren’t meant to produce immediate answers. They’re meant to slow the mind down and surface the why beneath your choice of action or inaction.

The Bottom Line

In a world obsessed with productivity, waiting can feel like failure. Too many executives have been conditioned to a kind of “first in, first out” management style, where they deal with the issues directly in front of them without much discernment about the criticality of a given topic. I chalk some of this up to the omnipresence of corporate communications now - email, text, Slack, Teams, and other communications channels that seem to demand immediate, 24/7 attention and response. But often, the most courageous thing you can do is to wait a bit.

The trick is to know whether your waiting is purposeful or protective. Whether it’s giving a situation room to breathe, or keeping you stuck in a loop of avoidance. And that’s where reflection, and often a coach or trusted advisor, can help.

Because wasting time and giving time may look the same from the outside. But on the inside, they feel very different.

Question for you: how do you tell the difference between your strategic waiting and procrastination?