Finding Your Power
You Have More Influence at Work Than You Think
My wife is a culinary professional - a chef, restaurant manager, caterer, culinary instructor, and food writer - and I have learned so much from her over almost 40 years of marriage. One thing I do differently now versus “pre-Julie” is that I am more comfortable sending food back to the kitchen at a restaurant if there is something that isn’t right with the order. I used to cringe at the idea of making such a request - I found it awkward, embarrassing, and conflictual; I wasn’t comfortable using my power as a customer that way. I briefly worked as a waiter in college, and I remember not exactly enjoying it when my customers sent things back.
Julie taught me to reframe these interactions. Rather than view it as a slap in the face to the restaurateur, sending food back provides important feedback to restaurant owners and operators about what is going well and what isn’t and allows them to improve the experience in the moment. In an age where Yelp reviews can terrorize restaurants without much recourse, it’s particularly important to give the restaurant a chance at service recovery. Plus, being knowledgeable about how restaurants operate allows us to be thoughtful about when we call out a mistake, and we try to be graceful in how we do it. This reframing allowed me to change my attitude about the occasional food or service failure.
But this post isn’t about restaurants. It’s about identifying your source(s) of power in the workplace and getting comfortable using that power in ways that align with your operating principles and values.
When people work with me as a coach, they rarely say, “I need help using my power.” They are more likely to frame it as:
“I feel stuck.”
“I’m not being heard.”
“I don’t have authority.”
“Decisions happen around me.”
“I don’t want to be political.”
Underneath all of that is the same tension: they don’t see where their power actually lives when they are at work.
Most of us were taught to think power equals title. Or volume. Or charisma. Or control. In the consulting world I came from, the more people who worked for you and the bigger revenues attributed to you, the more power you seemed to have. If you don’t manage people or sit in the big meetings, you may assume you don’t have much of it.
That’s rarely true.
Real power at work can be broader, quieter, and far more available than we think. The challenge isn’t so much about gaining power, but rather recognizing the power you already possess and using it responsibly, in alignment with who you are. It’s about recognizing the internal saboteurs that get in the way of you taking action and influencing the working world around you.
Let’s break that down.
Redefine What Power Actually Is
Power at work is simply the ability to influence outcomes. That’s it. Influence can come from many places, for example:
Expertise
Relationships
Information
Credibility
Emotional steadiness
Pattern recognition
Access to stakeholders
Control over resources
The ability to ask good questions
If you can affect what gets discussed, decided, prioritized, or implemented, you have power. Rank and title are proxies for power; having a title often gives people more access to stakeholders or control over resources, but there are other paths to power, and title alone is rarely sufficient to access one’s power at work.
How to Find Your Power
Notice Where People Already Rely on You
Where do colleagues come to you for input? What do people ask you to review before it goes out? What problems are you quietly expected to solve?
Reliance is a signal of influence.
Map Your Unique Leverage
What do you see that others don’t? What information flows through you? What relationships do you have that bridge groups? What risks can you spot earlier than co-workers? What conversations are you positioned to start?
Power often lives in the in-between spaces.
Look at What You Avoid
Where do you hold back because you’re afraid of overstepping? Often, the place you’re afraid to speak is exactly where your influence would matter most. Shying away from these interactions is a form of giving your power away.
Using Power Responsibly
Intention Check: Why Are You Stepping In?
Is this about serving the work? Is this about protecting your ego? Is this about avoiding discomfort? Is this aligned with what you believe is right? (For example, my reluctance to send food back was largely a function of my discomfort with the perceived conflict that might arise). We often feel uncomfortable with how others use power at work because we don’t trust their intentions.
Impact Check: Who Does This Affect?
Power has ripple effects. Zoom out beyond your own role. Influencing decisions, making connections, asking incisive questions, can all have impact on others. Responsible use of power dictates that you think through the consequences of your actions.
Method Check: How Am I Showing Up?
You don’t have to be loud to be powerful. One of the most influential partners I ever worked with spoke almost in a whisper. He was a big bear of a man, but spoke so softly and deliberately that you had to physically lean in and pay close attention to what he was saying. It significantly heightened his power. It helped that he generally had meaningful things to say.
Aligning Power With Your Values
Get specific about your personal operating principles, for example:
I value fairness over speed.
I value clarity over popularity.
I value long-term sustainability over short-term optics.
I value developing people, not just delivering output.
How can you use your influence in a way that expresses these values? When your use of power, of that of a co-worker, feels wrong, it’s usually because one or more operating principles, or values, are being violated in some way.
Power and Effectiveness Are Linked
When you use your power effectively, you shape conditions instead of reacting to them. You reduce resentment because you’re participating. You build credibility by being consistent. You become someone others trust in high-stakes moments.
A Practical Exercise
Step 1: List three situations at work that currently frustrate you.
Step 2: For each one, ask where you have even 5% influence and what small action you could take.
Step 3: Decide one small move.
Small, consistent acts of aligned influence compound.
The Hard Truth(s)
If you find yourself in a work situation where you feel relatively powerless, it’s usually because you’re underestimating your influence or you are choosing not to use it. A third possibility is that you are in an environment that actively suppresses it, in which case that might not be the healthiest work environment for you in the long run.
Final Thought
Professional power isn’t only about dominance. It’s about influencing outcomes, sometimes overtly and sometimes in subtler ways.
A Simple Invitation
This week, don’t try to become more powerful. Instead, notice where you already are.
Pick one moment. Just one.
Use your influence deliberately and in alignment with your values. Not louder. Not more forceful. Just more intentional.
Then pay attention to how it feels.
The goal isn’t control. It’s conscious participation.
You have more agency than you think. The question isn’t whether you have power. It’s whether you’re willing to use it well.